So I started writing this blog almost a year ago, and just finished it!! For some you might be thinking why did it take you a year to finish this? My answer would be, I don’t know it just did, lol! This blog is really a set up for my newest blog dropping soon called, Three Reasons Why 30 Is LIT! In the meantime, check out this blog!
I’m 30, Now What……..
I haven’t even been 30 a whole week yet and I already feel wiser, more prepared and most importantly more excited for what God has in store for me, for this year specifically, and life. Let me tell you. I did not feel this way just a month ago. I remember sitting in Wegman’s with one of my mentors sharing about how I was so over life. I was upset with the fact that I was about to be 30 and that I had not accomplished the things that I felt I should have at this stage in my life. I did not have a house, condo or even an apartment to call my own. As a matter of fact I was still living at home with my parents. As much as people told me to enjoy this time and stay home as long as I could, because whether I realized it or not (even though I totally did) I was saving a ton of money, the reality was that I did not want this for my life. As most people my age I figured I would be well into my career, married and establishing a life with the husband who God has seen fit for us to be connected as purpose partners, and even have entered the role of motherhood to the amazing kids and family that I look forward to serving and investing in one day.
While that was what I pictured for my life, here was the reality…… I had just finished graduate school at 28, in May of 2015 and was just now truly entering the career/working world. With Sallie Mae (a.k.a. Navient) now coming for my life and my unborn children every month with these student loans payments, it was the wisest decision for me to still live at home. And with no sight of anything that looked like a relationship with someone who possessed the same values and standards of pursuing God whole heartedly as I did, I was 0 for 3, and as a result battled with deep discouragement from time to time in all these areas. I remember sharing how all I wanted was for someone to find enough value in me to view not just as an object who men had come to enjoy looking at, commenting on and even trying to pursue something with me, but for all the wrong reasons. Honestly, that fact alone had become such a deep place of frustration for me. On one hand it was great to know that pursuing and representing the lifestyle of Purity W/Style was indeed attractive, but on the other hand it was at times so overwhelming and disappointing that these men were so consumed with my external features that they were not interested in getting to know the beauty of my heart, which in my opinion is more priceless than any external beauty which can so easily change over time. It was due to this experience that had become such a normal part of my life that my desire to be covered by my husband and move into the role of a wife and mom had expanded so tremendously. I trusted God, or at least I said I did, but I just didn’t understand what was happening.
It was after that Wegman’s conversation and spending my normal daily time of devotions that the best thing in the world happened! God checked me, and my perspective began to change. What I once viewed as being a death sentence; being 30, not on my own, and being single, I began viewing as the blessing for the stage and preparation season that God had me in. As I was driving home feeling sorry for myself on the verge of tears, I sensed God saying Who’s schedule are you on Danielle?…….there’s or mine. I know you think differently, but you are right on schedule. I realized that I was at a crossroads and had a decision to make. I could focus all my attention on what I didn’t have, and wish so badly to prematurely place myself in a season of life that myself or my mate had not been fully prepared for yet, or I could change my perspective by sitting back, trust God’s timing knowing that He makes no mistakes, nor does he withhold any good thing from those who walk uprightly before Him (scripture). enjoy the season of right now in my life, and learning to play the position that God saw sit to trust me with at this stage in my life.
Once I realized my position and what this season was meant to represent, not just for myself but others, the light bulbs went off, and what at first was so frustrating began to make sense. I felt that God wanted to use my life to show his beauty and faithfulness, even during a time when all the pieces of the puzzle I call life still were in the process of meeting together. At a time when society may try to label you and say that certain milestone’s should have happened in your life by now and even try to make you feel out of place because they have not, I am reminded and comforted by the examples of those in the Bible (Abraham & Sarah, Hannah, Joseph, Job and so many others) who not only only had to wait on God, at times becoming discouraged, but in the end their faith and obedience to God’s timing set them apart and positioned them to not only receive, but be responsible enough to take full advantage of God’s best for them.
Over this time I have learned to not attach my self worth to the things and relationships that I either have or don’t have, but to tie my self-worth to the one who created me. To the God who knew exactly where I would be right now, and said this was good. So here’s what I’m doing now; I’m learning to enjoy life. I’m staying committed to living out my faith in such a radical way and showing his grace through me. And, I want to encourage you to do the same. Instead of trying to change where God has you planted, learn to rest where He has you planted. Learn to not stress about your future, but pray about your future (Philippians 4:6; “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God wha you need, and thank him for all he has done.”). If I could leave you with one last piece of advice no matter how young or old you are, what season you are in are, or how long you have been waiting on God it would be this: Learn to push past how you feel. Be faithful even when you feel faithless and watch your faith grow. Believe me I know it doesn’t make sense and it doesn’t feel good, but God is developing us, growing us and grooming us for His glory. We can all take confidence know that in the end as all the pieces come together even through all the mountains, valleys, joys and pain that “All things work together for the good of those who love God, and are called according to his purpose” Romans 8:28. In the meantime enjoy your life, chase after God and pursue your God given purpose always remembering that you don’t have to travel this road alone. We are in this together! You, me and the whole Purity W/Style/Pure Focus community. Btw, have you grabbed your brand apparel yet? Stay encouraged and fashionable by visiting the brand shop at http://puritywithstyle.com/shop/shirts/.
What lessons are you learning during this season of life? Or what areas of your life do you think God is trying to teach you a lesson? Drop a comment below.